The art of never being satistifed

If you’re like me, you like things to be done well.

There is nothing wrong with that need. Having high standards, and being self-disciplined, are good things – until they paralyze you and create all sorts of negative emotions. I didn’t realise how much this affected me until my coach pointed it out to me. I started recognised thought patterns such as:

  • “If it isn’t perfect, then I’ve failed”
  • “If I can’t do it as I should, then I might as well not do it at all”
  • “I hate mistakes”
  • “I prefer to do things my way so that I’m sure they are done well”

which, translated into motherhood goes something like this:

  • “If my birth/feeding plan doesn’t go as planned, then I’ve failed already as a mother (hello PPD)”
  • “If I can’t work out for at least 30 minutes 3x a week, I might as well not do anything at all”
  • “My daughter has been doing this wrong for 5 minutes now, I’m going to go ahead and fix it for her”
  • “Why doesn’t my husband fold the laundry like I do?”
  • “He is taking way too long to change that nappy”, etc, etc.

Whether or not it’s for something big such as an important work project, or small like this blog post (which I am courageously publishing in its imperfection), perfectionism leads to frustration and anxiety, self-doubt, and strained relationships. I’ve seen mums not move at all because what will 10 minutes do anyway? I’ve listened to them be frustrated because the house looks like a mess after their kids have been in it for 10 minutes, and resentful to their partners because no way they can do things up to their standards so they might as well do it by themselves…again.

I remember reading somewhere an anonymous quote:

Perfectionism is the art of never being satisfied.

Indeed.

It’s time to move away from this art that we’ve been mastering for years (and it’s been amplified since we entered motherhood). It might feel impossible, but it’s not. I’m living proof. Schedule a call with me to talk about it. Let’s start quieting those thought patterns and creating new ones. You deserve it.

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