“OH MY GOD, YOU DONT LOOK LIKE A MUM AT ALL!”
, said a friend who I hadn’t seen in a very long time. She meant it as a compliment of course. But was it one?
So what are mums supposed to look like exactly? Exhausted? Stressed out? Coping, but only just?
Well no, I didn’t look like that actually. (Mind you, some days I DO look exactly like that. Don’t we all!)
While I know that it’s OK to be a toddler mum and feel good too, the guilt crept in. “Am I a good mum? Am I sacrificing myself enough? Does this show that I’m not taking my role seriously?”
Thankfully I snapped out of it quickly. Feeling and looking good is my right and it’s no proof of how I am as a mother. In addition, it’s noone’s business.
However, I don’t think all women would snap out of it so easily.
In fact, I know that many mums hesitate to ask for help and engage in self-care because they feel like it’s selfish. And, judging by my friend’s innocent comment, people simply *expect* to see a toddler mum who’s exhausted and stressed out.
Here’s the thing: If others expect you to be a sacrificing martyr, you’ll probably be one without even realising it, unless you make a conscious decision not to.
Do you need support to start feeling more like yourself again? I’m just an email away. You can also just book a free, non-binding chat with me here. We all deserve to do more than “just cope”.