“As long as they have a healthy meal, it doesn’t matter what I eat.”
“As long as they had enough to drink, it doesn’t matter if I’m thirsty.”
“As long as they are happy, it doesn’t matter if I’m miserable.”
“As long as they are sleeping, it doesn’t matter if I’m very uncomfortable right now.”
This was me. And it still is sometimes. It must have something to do with how we’re wired to act around our children. From the moment they are born we feel the need to protect them, care and provide for them, which of course makes sense.
Often (or for some women, all the time) this happens to our detriment. I’ve observed this in myself and all around me. I know how difficult it can be to break the habit of thinking like this.
So I’ve literally forbidden myself to think “as long as”. Now I think:
“They are having a healthy meal, and so am I (because it matters).”
“They are having enough to drink, and so am I (because it matters) .”
“They are happy, and so am I (because it matters) .”
“They are sleeping, and…I better go to bed too (because it matters) !”
And I matter.
“As long as” is fine every once in a while, but making it the new normal is bound to turn against the parent at some point.
Do you often feel this way? Does removing this limiting belief feel impossible? I get you. And I can help. Email me for more details on how health coaching can help you thrive, not just survive.